A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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