i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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