bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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