brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we have officially lost it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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