Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize