we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
