I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
