Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
