My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
