so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize