And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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