Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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