i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
