i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
