Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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