Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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