His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize