shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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