I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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