He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
