I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
