So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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