i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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