i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
