If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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