physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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