when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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