is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
