In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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