eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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