When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you never un-have a 4some
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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