Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I AM VODKA MAN
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
