he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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