But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
