There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
