I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize