It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dignity is for republicans.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
