so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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