You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
