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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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