my soul wont recognize me after tonight
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
