Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
