O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize