You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
