Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
