Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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