Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
