oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
