i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize