YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did we literally take a cab across the street
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
