There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
