Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
