SEEEEXXX PLEASE
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
