we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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