Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
