He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize