at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
