But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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