"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
