Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
