Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We just shotgunned beers for America
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
