the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
