So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
