Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
